I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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