Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I need moral support for this bender
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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