I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
