So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
My bed smells like the plague
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
