All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
