Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
