You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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