I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
