It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
she smelled like a LAN party
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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