Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
