i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
