I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
