you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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