I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
