Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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