this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
