How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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