She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
