when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I feel like abortions should bother me more
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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