Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
