I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
