Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Randomize
