if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
