chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Randomize
