And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
