hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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