It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
