PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize