Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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