weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
