Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Randomize
