and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Randomize
