I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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