Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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