I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
