i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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