In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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