PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
