i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize