the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
