Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize
