are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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