lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
