..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
