I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
