Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
