Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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