Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
