Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
