Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
