i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
