Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
