ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
