Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
The beer is more important than you right now.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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