So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
