i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
