shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
