So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
