He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Come share oat with me in your robe
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
