i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
