he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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