How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
